I don't know

I see no positive response from you my bachen. Response as in you starting to talk to me as per normal, and stuff. You don't know how worried I am when I know that you got fever. I wanted to ask how you feeling and stuff but you will always say "Don't worry la about me." What nonsense?! Tsk! Grrr.

Hais. I miss you bachen. I really do. Macam nak turun Jurong to find you gitu but I know you won't like me doing that. Well. To you I'm annoying kan? Pestering you for your love? Nevermind la. I know there's no more spot for me in your heart anymore. To you, I'm petty and I can't be trusted also. So yeah. I know where I stand la ya. I'm only your friend whenever you're lonely. 

I sometimes tear whenever I think about you. Yes. I gembeng. You can say whatever you want. But thats the only way I show how truthful I amtowards you. I never cry for anyone else before. You're the first. How I wish I can turn back time. Turn back not to the incident in KL but to the day when we exchange numbers. Because I seriously wanted to start things back. But you seem not interested. Hais. 

Nevermind. I'll wait. I'll wait for my true love. Whoever will it be. Be it someone who used to fuck me or someone who treat me like a speck of dust, I dont care. Secretly, I wish it's you my true love is. But i know it will never happen because it seems like you're not interested anymore. 

Whenever I try to be the initiator, your replies will be a one-worder. How can i not assume? Maybe to you, you dont want to give false hope to me. Nevermind I understand. I'll just keep quiet for now. When you feel lonely, you can talk to me. I'll try to reply you. Try. Hmm. But you know i'll reply no matter what. 

Well, like my friends always said, whats in you that makes me wanna stay? I don't know myself. We dont even know each other well but it seems like I'm so much attracted to you. 

Nevermind lah Khai. I know I'm just not good enough to be yours again. I never will right? Haha. No worries. I'll fix this wound in my heart myself. 

Well. Time to rest this mind and body for they've been thinking too much about you lately. 

Good Night. 

With love,

Syed Ridwan

P/S: I Love You

I Miss You

Its been a month plus since we broke off. Haha! I don't know. Still can't get this feeling off me. I hope you feel the same way too. You've made a huge impact in my life. I still love you do you know that? I can't love others like how I love you. Well other than my family and Allah of course.

Khai, I want you to know, that I'm here for you. No matter what okay? I'll wait for you and hopefully that your love towards me will be the same. I hope. If it doesn't, do show me some signs, cause that is the only way for me to move on really. My love towards you doesn't move a little. Its growing stronger actually for I've no reason why.

I'll be here... Waiting for you to say "Let's start everything back." I miss you Khai. I really do. I just want to text you like how I normally do, but I'm afraid that I'm just clapping with one hand. It takes two to clap right? :)

If we were to get back together, I promise, I will be a better person. That person who'll be there for you when you need me and vice-versa. I'll definitely understand your busy schedule as how you understand mine. And my trust towards you have never grow thin. I trust you a lot and I definitely love you..

Oh. Do text me after you've read this post okay? I'll be waiting. 

With love,
Syed Ridwan

P/S: I love you Khai. I really do.