Thanks for the Memories

30th September 2013.

Where it all ends. Our status as boyfriends. I sorry because I'm not ready for you. I didn't know what to do or expect from a relationship like this. I expected a lot. I know my flaws. Thanks to Amirul for getting it from you. Thank you for being honest. 

I've made a vow. You're my first and my last. And I'm not going to break that. I'm not going to ruin my life further. I guess one is enough. I got hurt in a straight relationship. I also got hurt in a gay relationship. I guess I'm not going to try anymore. Be single forever is alright I guess. 

Khai. 

Thanks for being there for me for the past 3 months we got to know each other. From friends to being attached. I appreciate that. Just want to let you know, I really love you no matter what. As a friend. Thanks for the memories we've made thus far. I respect you as a friend. 

But whatever happens in the future, happens in the future. Do invite me for your wedding one day alright? 

Now. I've got to move on with life. I've got to secure myself a job. Thinking of signing on Civil Defence as paramedic if finding job outside fails. I'm gonna slowly drop my music commitments as I think its not going anywhere. And soon, since I got no commitments, i think signing on, and a 14 months training in the camp will be a greatest distraction for me. I don't want to think so much. I think that's the best for me. 

Thank you once again. 

And you know, as always how i close my blogpost with "I love you." But for now will be different. Need to constantly remind myself that you're just a friend. A BFF like what you want me to be. 

With love,

Syed Ridwan

P/S: I'm thinking of you BFF. Just can't get you out of my head :')